Sometimes, I’m just preaching to the choir. Our exploration of rhythms this month has been for me as much as for anyone ‘out there’ in cyberspace. I need to remember that I am the only one who expects me to be SuperWoman and writing about it has been painfully helpful.
Truthfully, I wish that limits weren’t a part of my existence. I wish that I had enough energy to do everything that runs through my head. I wish the spiritual life was sustainable in short, intense spurts (kind of like I wish physical fitness were equally sustainable in short, but less intense, spurts). And because limits really mess with my SuperWoman image, I do not live a whole, healthy, balanced life.
Sometimes, I am way too hard on myself about being the best parent.
Sometimes, I am way to hard on myself about being a better spiritual director.
Sometimes, I am way too hard on myself about being the best wife, employee, volunteer, and writer.
Sometimes, well, you get the idea.
But sometimes, after writing for four weeks about an ideal that leaves me feeling like a great big faker, God gives me the gift of contentment. And in that gift, I am given new glasses to see my world with. The vision of my children, as amazing human beings growing in God’s likeness gets crisp around the edges. The vision of the work that I am privileged to do has sharp boundaries. The vision of myself as God’s beloved daughter living out my many roles of wife, mother, and employee takes on Technicolor, HD clarity and my breath catches.
This is a beautiful life, not because I am doing it right but, because I desire God to redeem me and it and all that I touch.
And that contentment is, after all, why I tried to embrace healthy rhythms in the first place: a glimpse of God at work in me…